As I stated in a previous blog, Lynley and I were extremely blessed by reading the book, Our Secret Paradise, together.  In the first five years of our marriage, we rarely read books as a couple.  However, as we began reading out loud together, this practice opened up our hearts to one another and sparked great conversations.  Sometimes it helps to bring a third voice into the room.

In February, we taught a five-week class on the principles contained within this book and I wanted to take a few weeks and highlight these “7 Secrets” to a satisfying marriage.  These little nuggets of wisdom are powerful.

Secret One:  Triumphant Realism
Have you ever been told by somebody you trust, “You have GOT to see this movie!  It is the best movie I have ever seen.  You are going to love it.  When the movie ends and the credits roll, you’re gonna march out of the theatre, buy another ticket and see this movie again!  Believe me!”

And then you pay 9 bucks for a ticket plus $7.50 for the Popcorn Combo.

The usual result?  Disappointment.  You went in with mile high expectations and very few movies can live up to that much hype.  Undoubtedly, you walk out of the theatre a little let down.  Should’ve waited for the DVD.

The bottom line: Our expectations dramatically affect our experience.

The same is true in marriage.  It’s not that we shouldn’t assume that marriage is going to be wonderful, it’s just that we assume it’s going to be wonderful all by itself!  We assume that intimacy happens instantly and accidently.  This is where we go wrong.  I like what Jimmy Evans says:

Adam and Eve were the only ones born in a paradise. The rest of us have to work to get there, and usually that means suffering pain along the way. 

Marriage is hard work, but immensely rewarding.  Being happily married means recognizing that you and your spouse have serious flaws.  We all have issues. Working through these issues and loving one another unconditionally is what makes marriage great.  Are you struggling in your marriage?  Don’t give up.  Place your full trust in God and ask Him to help you see things as He sees them: you both are a work in progress (Phil. 1:6).