Click below for some Travis Cottrell Karaoke provided by the blond boy above, far right.

Jack Word of God Spoken

It has been a loooooong time since I have posted anything personal.  To be quite frank, I lost my motivation for a while to keep up with my blog.  It’s time to get back at it!  Here is a little family fun.  We laugh a lot at the Mandrell home, as you will see by the ridiculous video of my children enduring my 35-year-old gut.  Ha!  (I promise that no children were injured in the making of this film.  Just a little rough housing.)

Also: Due to my lack of techie skills, I did not take the time to get this video turned just right. Most of you are laptop users so you can hopefully turn your computer sideways. Work with me, people!)  :-)

The Post Bath Time Boy Drill + A Few Fun Pics

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Lynley and Jack riding Dumbo at Disney World…

Back in the spring, we had a flower planting Saturday…

Me, Miles and Max…

Max’s first day of Kindergarten, Ava’s first day of 2nd grade…

On the day I moved into my office at Englewood, a set of CDs sat on the top of an old box in the corner of the room. For whatever reason, God led me to grab those CDs and stick them in my car.  I had never come across the name “Jimmy Evans” before, but that didn’t mean much since I was as green as they come in the pastor category.

Months later, I finally popped one of the CDs in the player and the very moment Jimmy began speaking, my spirit resonated with him.  I knew the Lord was speaking directly to me, through him.  Jimmy’s compassionate yet firm, biblical and practical, humorous and yet sobering approach to marriage and family ministry have placed him at the top of my “favorite people to listen to” podcast.

Now that my four children are 7, 6, 4, and 3, my inadequacies as a Daddy seem a mile-high.  I have gone back and rediscovered the parenting series that drew me to Jimmy and his ministry (www.marriagetoday.com).  I have ordered 50 sets of these CDs and plan to make them available at Englewood soon.  I would highly recommend ANY parent to order these and let the Lord turn your heart to your children in a revolutionary way.  If every mom and dad would sit down together and listen to these messages, it would bring powerful results.

Click here to order directly from the Marriage Today website.

And a BIG thanks to Jana at Marriage Today for being such a huge help to the Mandrell family and to our church!

Happy Listening!

Ben

A read recently about a survey that was taken, asking men to identify their number one need in marriage.  You don’t have to guess.  I think you can figure it out.

The same survey was given to women, with the probing question: what is the number one need that you crave in your marriage?  To no one’s surprise, the answer was not physical in nature, but emotional.  A woman’s number one need is to talk.  God created each woman as a highly relational creature, hard wired for communication.  Every woman (with few exceptions) has a multitude of feelings and words trapped inside her that must be downloaded in order for her to feel loved.  And so, the daily “crucifixion of the flesh” for most men is to come home from work and to engage in conversation.  As I exhorted a man at the wedding altar last Saturday, “Talk to your wife until you feel like you’ve reached your limit, and then talk to her three times longer. Only then are your approaching her heart.”

Reader, you think that I’m joking!  I am not!  Nobody told me this secret to success when I got married.   I’ve talked to other men, my wife is not abnormal.  She’s normal.  Lynley FEELS loved when she feels like a partner. And she feels like a partner when she is confided in.  God made her that way.  Women were given the gold star, deluxe system for communication and most will feel cherished when loved with the eyes + the ears. (Hint for the slow guys, such as me: eyes + ears is code for “active” listening–the kind where you do more than nod and pretend to hear while secretly ruminating over business decisions.  Believe me, she knows the difference.  I’ve tried).

The Challenge
This is a little nugget that God gave me last week.   Men like sports analogies, so here goes…

Every great football team has at least ONE thing in common: they make the fourth quarter count.  This is that part of the game when they really don’t feel like playing anymore.  They are so tired they want to collapse.  The excitement of the pre-game locker room speech has worn off.  These athletes are spent.  But the best football teams find a way to focus in the fourth quarter.  They refuse to rest until the buzzer sounds.

This is what I’m learning as a husband.  The most important part of the day with my wife is the 4^th quarter, that period of time between when the kids go to bed and when we go to bed.  It’s the most critical time for me to play the game of marriage well (Marriage is not a game; the analogy does have its limits).  My tendency is to tune out, turn my attention to a TV, or to mindless internet searches, or to escape to a book.  If I make this choice, my marriage suffers a loss.

But, if I will give my wife my best effort, at the end of the day…it makes all the difference.  In focusing my mind upon her, I meet her great need, to be known and to be valued.  As Scripture says, “A man who loves his wife, loves himself.”  This extra effort brings life to our relationship like nothing else.

I must confess.  I don’t always win.  I sometimes loaf and coast into the final quarter.  As Christ has called me to lead through service, I pray as I pull into my driveway, “Lord, help me to serve you with gladness, as I serve my wife with gladness!”

Thinking about each day as a game to be played well somehow clicks for me.  It’s making a difference in my mindset, and reminding me to live out my priorities one 16 hour day at a time.